Don't You Know Who I Am? Page 11

  I glanced up at them and smiled slightly. My throat hurt and I was weak. I could barely whisper. “What happened?”

  “You were in a car accident with Javier.” Dad said, in a matter-of-fact tone.

  Tears ran down my face. I can’t remember. Why can’t I remember?

  Dad took my hand. “Honey, he didn’t make it.”

  I couldn’t breathe. When I hyperventilated, my mother yelled for a nurse.

  “What? No! He’s not dead. He can’t be dead, you’re lying. He isn’t gone. Dawn, tell me it isn’t true. Tell me Javier is going to be all right.”

  My sister kept sobbing. I couldn’t see her face since she stood behind my parents.

  “Everyone out.” A nurse burst into the room. “Honey, slow down. Slow your breathing down.”

  “No! He’s not dead. I love him! No!”

  One nurse held me by the shoulders and another came in to help. She picked up the phone and called the doctor. I couldn’t stop yelling. “He’s not dead. He can’t be gone! He’s not dead. He wouldn’t leave me.” Within moments, they put something in my IV and the room went black.

  ~ ~ ~

  The sound of a faint beep permeated the hospital room. Repeatedly, beep, beep, beep. I wished it’d just stop.

  I stretched my hand to the side, trying to reach for Javier’s. I felt a squeeze but it wasn’t his. My eyes opened and I saw my mother.

  Her face was all blotchy and her eyes all puffy. She tried to smile but her distress scared me. I turned my head. Excruciating pain shot up my neck and behind my eyes. I flinched, but not before I saw my dad standing, looking out the window. Dawn sat in a chair nearby, curled up in a ball. She buried her face into her knees and wrapped her arms around her head.

  The door opened and my attention shifted. A doctor walked in with a nurse right behind him.

  “How are you doing, Kayla?” the doctor asked.

  I remember what my dad told me and tears begin to stream down my face.

  “Here.” The doctor handed me a control with a button on it. “Press the button when you have pain and the pump will give you pain meds if enough time has elapsed.”

  A deep sob left my chest. I could care less if my body is broken. I just want Javier!

  My mother stood up and moved to the side to allow the doctor closer access to me. My father walked up beside her.

  “Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, I presume?”

  “Yes.” My dad sounded harsher than what was necessary.

  “I’m Dr. Reyes.” He extended a hand to both of them. “Your daughter is very lucky. She’s lost a lot of blood during surgery. She had a fracture of her spleen, which required emergency removal in order to save her life and subsequent blood transfusions. She has two lumber fractures with no spinal cord involvement. She’ll be on bed-rest for some time and will require physical therapy to properly recover. The therapy will help her regain strength and overall function in terms of walking, posture, and strength. This can be a lengthy process so be prepared for a stay in a rehab center and then outpatient sessions until the vertebrae are completely healed including the surrounding muscles. She has a large contusion on her head, but her CT scan is negative for bleeding.” Dr. Reyes paused for a moment. “Are there any questions that I can answer for you?”

  My mom stood looking at the floor quietly weeping. Dr. Reyes put his hand on her shoulder in an attempt to console her.

  As Dr. Reyes spoke my mind drifted to time spent with Javier. The first time I saw him pumping gas into his Camaro, and how excited I was when he asked me to his cousin’s wedding. The night we spent together in the guesthouse when I knew he was the love of my life.

  Giving myself to him was the most amazing feeling. I wanted to marry him, have children with him, be his forever. How could it all end when we were only just beginning? There’d never be another person I’d love like I loved him. Never. I felt so alone, so empty knowing I wouldn’t hear his voice again or feel his hand in mine. There’d never be another kiss on my head telling me everything would be okay when I felt upset or sad. Why couldn’t I have died with him? I didn’t want to be here alone. I didn’t want to walk this life without him with me.

  “It’s probably a good idea to let her have some rest. She’s being closely monitored to ensure she remains stable.”

  Mom nodded in agreement but didn’t look up. Dr. Reyes quietly turned. He and the nurse left the room.

  “Mom?” I asked in barely a whisper. “Please tell me it isn’t true.” The tears came faster and it felt like my heart physically hurt. “Please! Please tell me Javier is all right.”

  Mom couldn’t look at me. She shook her head and I heard Dawn begin to cry as well. My dad returned to the window, saying nothing.

  “No! No! No!” I started screaming again. Mom wrapped her arms around me in an attempt to console me. “No. I can’t live without him. No!”

  Chapter 17

  Six Years Later

  My alarm went off and I rolled over and hit snooze for the second time. I smelled coffee brewing and decided to get up. Walking through my Scottsdale condo, I made my way to the coffee pot. I poured myself a cup, added creamer and shuffled back to my room to pick out an outfit for today.

  I decided on a red pencil skirt and a black fitted button-up shirt. The Phoenix heat was still unbearable in August, but black fit my mood. It must be time to see the shrink again. I dragged myself to the shower, putting the water on hot before stepping under the spray.

  The water ran over me as I admired my fabulous bathroom. I’d designed this place as my first project after being hired by Studio G. The bathroom was bigger than most bedrooms with granite counters, raised glass sinks, a dual glass shower, and separate whirlpool tub with a small gas fireplace that could be seen from the bedroom and the tub.

  The bedroom had white shag carpet and contemporary black lacquer furniture. Black and white, it really spelled out my psyche. I had stainless steel appliances and granite countertops in the kitchen, black leather furniture against white marble floors in the living room, a plasma television mounted on the wall, theater surround sound – the works.

  Since I’d graduated two years ago, I immersed myself in work, designing residential homes and large businesses. I’d worked my way up the corporate ladder with Studio G, the top interior design studio in the city. I was the youngest lead they’d ever had. I’d set my sights on making partner in the next five years.

  I finished getting ready. I applied makeup and curled my long honey hair in big flowing curls. I put on black sling-back heels and grabbed my briefcase. I took the elevator down to the parking garage and made my way to my black, five-series BMW, the first thing I’d bought when I secured a job after graduation.

  No more riding the bus. I pulled out of the garage and fought the Phoenix traffic until I arrived at Studio G thirty minutes later. I parked in my designated spot and made my way to the office, setting my briefcase on my desk.

  “Good morning, Sunshine.” My assistant, Rafael walked in and handed me another cup of coffee just the way I liked it. He was one of the strongest members of my design team, half-Mexican and half-Filipino with a flair for bright and colorful clothes. His partner, Antonio, a fashion designer worked at the Biltmore. They were my only real friends and I cherished them.

  “Good morning, Rafael. How was your weekend?”

  “Fabulous. Antonio and I went to a wine-tasting event at the lovely W Hotel. The rooms are to die for. How about you, honey? How was your weekend?”

  “Peaceful. Quiet.”

  Rafael looked at me for a long moment and then sat down in the chair in front of my desk. “Honey, you need to get laid in a bad way.”

  I almost spit out my coffee. “What? Why do you say that?”

  “Look at you. You’re beautiful, smart, successful, but
no fun. When is the last time you had fun? Real fun.”

  “I have fun. I went to ASU for God’s sake. That school is all about fun.”

  “The school is fun, but you aren’t.”

  I sat thinking about that for a moment. The years passed without Javier and all I remembered was trying to survive, trying to pretend I’d be okay.

  “When’s the last time you had sex?”

  “That is none of your business.”

  Rafael raised an eyebrow. “It’s been that long?”

  “Rafael, I have a shrink, thank you. Let’s get to work.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Fine, if you insist.” He handed me a folder. “We have a new client, JVF Automotive. They’re building a car showroom to house some of the most expensive cars in Phoenix. Security is a high priority. They need two executive suites, fifteen pods for sales associates and five offices for the finance people. The back of the building will have the body shop and automotive repair.”

  I read through the information. “Who’s the architect on this project?”

  “Steven Holt with HWP Architecture.”

  I looked up at Rafael. “Steven Holt?”

  “Yes. Why? Do you know him?”

  “If it’s the same person, yes. We met in college.”

  “Oh, do tell! This is your ticket to the release you so desperately need.”

  “You have a one-track mind, Rafael. How many cars will be in the showroom at a time?”

  “It doesn’t say, but I’ll find out and get back to you.”

  “When do they need the proposal?”

  “I’ll find that out as well.” Rafael jumped up and left my office.

  Steven Holt. He definitely was a distant memory I hadn’t visited in ages. Steven was the first person that I’d dated after Javier’s death. We had some classes together when I was a junior in college and he was a senior. We’d started meeting for coffee and then worked on a class project together. After several months of friendly conversation and study dates I gave in and went to dinner with him. The night ended at his place and I tried not to cry when we had sex.

  He was the only man I’d been with besides Javier and I couldn’t wait for it to be over. I faked my interest in Steven for six months before I called it off. I just couldn’t do it anymore. It didn’t matter how many times I slept with him or tried to love him, it wasn’t going to happen.

  My heart was dead inside. All the years of counseling and therapy had gotten me nowhere. I’d never heard from Veronica, or my friends after the accident. Nobody called or visited me in the hospital. They must have blamed me for what happened to Javier. I was the one who’d wanted to spend the holiday break together and he’d just wanted to make me happy.

  I hadn’t visited Javier’s grave because I didn’t have a car back then. I didn’t know if he was even buried in the States or Mexico. My dad went crazy after the accident. He sent Dawn to boarding school, and took away all our phones and computers.

  The only access I had on the new laptop he gave me was school-approved, webpages. He had everything else fire-walled by his crony at work, Bob. My mom went back to Harrisburg to be with Dawn after I successfully completed two months of in-patient physical therapy in the rehab center. I finished high school online and never returned to Nogales. My dad secured an apartment in Phoenix close to where I needed to get my outpatient physical therapy, and he transferred back East to be with my mom as soon as he had me enrolled at ASU.

  He’d told me that I needed to do what he said, when he said it, or he’d stop paying for school and I’d be on my own. I worked hard trying to finish my degree as soon as possible in order to escape from him. Both my parents made it clear I’d disappointed them past the point of return and even Dawn turned against me.

  My dad couldn’t accept that I’d had a relationship with someone who wasn’t Caucasian. I don’t think I ever really realized before my relationship with Javier how prejudiced my parents were. I’m sure they read between the lines and assumed I was intimately involved with Javier and it was just unacceptable. I was an embarrassment to them. I hoped Dawn wasn’t racially motivated like my parents, but my dad’s treatment of her because of my mistakes made her avoid me.

  I turned my focus to the new project on my desk. Time to start sketching how this will look. I’d research what kind of space was needed to show cars. Office space was a breeze for me, but a car showroom was a new challenge. Since I’d be working with Steven Holt again, I definitely wanted to impress him, didn’t I?

  Chapter 18

  I sat outside HWP Architecture for fifteen minutes, before I got the nerve to walk inside to meet with Steven Holt. I should have sent Rafael to review the plans and bring them to me. What would I prove by coming here and facing Steven after all this time?

  I walked up to the very young-looking receptionist in the lobby. “I have a twelve o’clock meeting with Steven Holt.”

  “Your name, please.”

  “Kayla Johnson.”

  She picked up the phone, pressed some buttons and spoke. “Your twelve o’clock is here.” She turned back to me. “Go to the tenth floor. You’ll be met at the elevator.”

  “Thank you.” I turned to locate the elevator. When the doors opened on the tenth floor, Steven stood waiting.

  He was still a handsome man with a surfer look about him, tall, lean, and muscular with dirty blond hair that flopped everywhere. His relaxed khaki slacks, white button-up linen shirt and loafers really fit the casual but professional look.

  “Kayla. It’s been a long time.” He took my hand and pulled me in for a hug, a genuine, warm smile on his handsome face.

  I hugged him back. “Hello, Steven. How are you?”

  “Good, good. Come with me. I ordered some food since the only time we could meet was during lunch. I hope that’s okay.”

  “Yes, of course. Thank you.”

  I followed him past another reception desk and through double doors. We entered his office with full-length mirrored windows, so he could see out, but nobody could see inside. I noticed he had a meeting table set for lunch.

  “Please have a seat. I hope memory serves correctly. I ordered you a Cobb salad with Thousand Island dressing?”

  “Yes, that’s perfect, thank you.” I sat down, not sure if we were eating or doing business first.

  “What a treat to be able to work with you again. What are the chances that both our firms were contracted for this project?”

  “It’s quite a coincidence. It will be fun.” I smiled in agreement. “It’s been a long time since we worked on a project together.”

  He stared at me for a moment.

  I looked down, unable to meet his gaze. I didn’t know what I wanted out of this meeting. I think a small part of me hoped I’d feel something, anything. “So, what are we looking at for square footage and budget on this project?”

  Steven pulled out his file and I pulled out mine. We were at his drafting table sketching out what was needed to meet code and give an aesthetically pleasing design in no time. I told him I wanted a showroom that rotated the cars every five minutes to give a 360-degree view of them and maximize the square footage of the showroom.

  The executive offices should be on the second level so the directors could look down at the lot and showroom at any time. We spent two hours putting ideas on paper. We ate while we worked and I found it very easy and comfortable to be with Steven again.

  “What’s your schedule like next week? We need to solidify a project design and timeline. Afterwards, we can work on the presentation.”

  I pulled out my iPad and looked at my calendar. “I’m available next Friday at noon or three.”

  Steven looked at his computer. “Let’s do three. Do you want me to meet you in your office next time?”

  “Su
re. Do you know where it is?”

  “It’d be a sad day in the architecture world to not know where the prestigious Studio G is located.” Steven smiled. “You look good, Kayla. The job must be treating you well.”

  “Thank you, Steven.” My face warmed at the compliment.

  He walked me to the elevator, kissed my cheek and hugged me again. “It’s really good to see you, Kayla.”

  I smiled back, after returning his hug. “It’s good to see you too, Steven. I’ll see you in my office next Friday.”

  “I’ll be there with my homework done.”

  Turning, I stepped into the elevator. I looked back at him after pushing the ground floor button. He stood staring at me with a slight grin. I smiled back as the doors closed.

  Maybe, I should try to rekindle the relationship. Maybe, Rafael was right and I needed some man action. I giggled. What was happening to me? I no longer wanted the love I once had, just the action my gay friend says I need.

  When I arrived back at the office, Rafael waited for me. “Where have you been, young lady? An afternoon delight, I hope.”

  “Ugh, Rafael. Give it a rest. We got a lot of work done and now I need to get my specs in place by next Friday.”

  “What happens next Friday?”

  “Steven is coming here to put the finishing touches on the design, so we can start putting a timeline together.”

  “Oh, goody. You may not want to participate in any fun, but I can certainly drink in some ‘man candy’.”

  ~ ~ ~

  As I opened the door to my condo, I heard my phone ring. I set down my briefcase, pulled out my purse and dug for my cell. When I found it, I saw it was Dawn. “Hello?”

  “Hey, it’s me.”

  “I saw that,” I said. “What’s up?”