Don't You Know Who I Am? Read online

  ~ ~ ~

  I lay in bed staring at the ceiling in Rafael’s guest-room the next morning. I didn’t want to do this again. Maybe, I could just run away. I'd move to Europe. Nobody’d find me there.

  “I know you’re awake, Sunshine.”

  I rolled over and closed my eyes, ignoring Rafael.

  “Oh no, you don’t, Rocky. Get up. The championship round is today.”

  “I don’t want to.” I stuffed my head under the pillow.

  “Girl, don’t make me get into a cat-fight with you. Get that skinny little body up and into the shower. We’re not letting depression set in.”

  I grumbled the entire way to the bathroom, but I did what I was told. I took a hot shower, pulled on yoga capris and a matching tank top and put on make-up. I hated to admit it, but I did feel better.

  “Where is that despicable father of yours at this time of day?”

  I looked at the clock. “It’s nine here, so it’s twelve there. He should be on a lunch break.”

  “Fabulous. Are we talking to Mom, or Dad first?”

  “The shrink says Dad.”

  “Well, he’s the expert.” Rafael handed me the phone.

  I took it and dialed my dad’s cell phone. I prayed he wouldn’t answer and I’d have to try again later.

  “Hello,” I heard him say.

  “Hi, Dad. It’s me, Kayla.”

  “Yes, Kayla. What’s going on?”

  I immediately felt annoyed. ‘Yes, Kayla? What's going on?’ “It’s funny you should ask that, Dad. Guess who I ran into yesterday?”

  I saw Rafael’s eyes widen with surprise. This wasn’t the approach we’d discussed in advance.

  “I’ve no idea, but can we talk about this later? I am in the middle of something right now.”

  “What are you in the middle of, Dad? Is the girlfriend waiting on you?”

  “What did you say to me?”

  “You heard me.”

  “I don’t like what you’re implying, young lady.”

  “I’m not implying. I’m stating a fact. I called because I ran into Javier Fuentes yesterday. Do you remember him?” I had venom in my voice now.

  He was silent.

  “Why did you lie to me?”

  There was still only silence on the other end.

  “Answer me, damn it!” I yelled into the phone.

  “I did what was best for you.”

  “What was best for me? What was best for me! Was it best for me to be cut off from the person that I loved? Was it best to send him away?” My voice rose. Anger filled me. “Is it best for me not to have a normal relationship because I’m filled with guilt and shame for loving him? Because I killed him? Tell me, Dad, how was that best?”

  “You were ruining your life.”

  “No, Dad, you did that for me.”

  I hung up and immediately called my mother.

  “Hello?”

  “Mom, it’s Kayla.”

  “Hello, honey. I was going to call you to see how the dress is coming along.”

  “Mom, did you know?”

  “Know what?”

  “Did you know he wasn’t really dead?”

  “Who, honey? What are you talking about? Are you okay?”

  “Javier, Mom! Did you know he’s alive?”

  “What are you talking about, Kayla?”

  “I saw him, Mom. Yesterday. I saw Javier.”

  “How? Oh my God.”

  “Did you know or not?”

  “Kayla, I’d never have made up the boy’s death. You can’t be serious. He died when the two of you were in that accident. It broke your heart. I felt so badly for you, even though he wasn’t right for you.”

  Wasn’t right for me? They are cut from the same cloth. “Why do you think he’s dead?”

  “Your father told me. He went to Tucson to check on him when you kept asking for Javier. When your father returned, he said Javier didn’t make it.”

  “And Dawn? Did she know he was alive?”

  “Of course not. She was upset by the news.”

  “Well, let me tell you the truth, Mom. Dad lied. He went to Tucson to insult Senor Fuentes and his family. To accuse Javier of ruining me by teaching me to lie and sneak around. As a result, his parents sent Javier to Mexico City.”

  “Oh my God! Kayla, that’s awful.” My mother put the rest of the pieces together. “How could your dad do that? Kayla, I hope you can see your father was upset too.”

  “He took away the person I loved and cared about.” I started crying now. “I know what I did was wrong, but I just wanted to be with Javier. Dad had no right to take that away, to take away my youth, my happiness.”

  “Honey, I’m so sorry.”

  “No, don’t. I’m the one who’s sorry. Sorry I didn’t see you both for what you really are. Pathetic. I hate him. I never want to see him again. I’ll call Dawn and explain why I won’t come to her wedding.” I hit ‘End’ and threw the phone across the room. I could hardly catch my breath between the tears that started and didn’t stop.

  Rafael sat with me, stroking my hair as I lay on the couch, with my head on his lap occasionally crying for the next hour until he finally said, “Come on. It’s time to see the shrink again.”

  “Ugh, all right, all right.” I got up and washed my face.

  Rafael drove me to Dr. White’s office. He waited for me as I had another two-hour session reviewing today’s drama in the Javier Fuentes saga.

  When I finally finished my session, Rafael followed me out to the car. “Well? What are we taking on tomorrow?”

  “Nothing. It’s back to work, back to my life.”

  “Are you sure you’re getting your money’s worth out of this guy? Did you check his credentials?”

  I laughed. “Yes and yes.”

  “Well, if you’re cured, then we should go to dinner tonight.”

  “Dinner sounds lovely.”

  We went back to Rafael’s. I grabbed my bag to take it back with me to my condo. I was a little afraid of being alone, but Dr. White felt I should get back into my normal routine as soon as possible. I showered again and stood in my closet trying to decide on a dress. We’d go high-end tonight, according to Rafael. I wondered if I should invite Steven to meet us? He was a part of my routine now, right?

  My cellphone rang and I picked it up. “Hello?”

  “It’s Dawn. I just talked to Mom.”

  There goes the evening. I really didn’t know what to say so I stayed quiet.

  “I swear to you that I’d no idea.”

  “I believe you.”

  “How are you doing?” Concern and worry filled Dawn’s voice.

  “Well, I'm back to seeing the shrink two hours a day, which should put me into the poor-house. I have a resurrected boy-friend who has me under contract for a major car showroom build, and who also feels I’m somehow responsible for him being held hostage in Mexico for years. Oh, and I have a current boyfriend that I haven’t seen all week because I’m afraid to face him with all of this raw emotion. How are you?”

  “Good grief, Kayla. What a mess.”

  “Well put. Listen, about your wedding. I’m not going to be able to come back and face Dad.”

  “He won’t be there.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “When Mom told me what happened, I let her have it. I was held hostage too, Kayla. If you thought I liked boarding school, you’re wrong. What a bunch of bullshit.”

  I started laughing. I’d never heard my sister cuss before. “I’m sorry, Dawn. I’ve been so wrapped up in my own grief I never stopped to consider how this affected you. I always thought you were mad at me for sneaking around with Javier and I go
t what I deserved.”

  “How could you think that? Dad terrified me, no question, but mad at you, no. I wished that were me. Everyone could see how good you two were together. You were a perfect fit.”

  I smiled a little. “I thought so too. That is until I saw him in his office this week. He’s so bitter now. He couldn’t care less about me or what we were.”

  “I’m sorry, Kayla. I know how good it could’ve been.”

  “Yeah, I know too.”

  “What about the new boyfriend? Tell me about him.”

  “Steven is an architect. I met him in college and we reconnected about a month ago when this project came up.”

  “What does he look like?”

  I giggled. “He's tall, lean and muscular with dirty blond hair that is a little long so it flops everywhere.”

  “Sounds hot to me.”

  We both laughed.

  “But, you don’t love him, do you?”

  “It’s only been a month.” I made the excuse, not wanting to accept or admit that I might not love him. I snickered like we were still teenagers. “The sex is good though.”

  “I bet it is after six years.”

  “Ouch. That hurts.”

  “His gain.”

  We both cackled at that statement knowing she was right.

  “Please still be in my wedding.”

  “Are you sure Dad won’t be there? I don’t want any drama on your big day. I’d rather step aside then have that.”

  “Not a chance. I am madder than a Charlotte hornet in spring.”

  I shook my head. She had the weirdest sayings, but always made me smile. “I wouldn’t miss it then.”

  “Thank you, and sis, I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  We hung up and I went back to getting ready for my night out with my friends.

  ~ ~ ~

  I got up in the morning feeling human for the first time all week. I showered, dressed, and grabbed my coffee to go.

  “Good morning, Sunshine.” Rafael greeted me like he always did when I walked into Studio G.

  “Good morning.”

  “Here’s your coffee and your messages are on your desk.”

  “Thank you.” I took the cup on my way to the office. I sat down and read through the messages, catching up after missing most of the week. I called Steven to see when we were breaking ground on the showroom.

  “HWP Architecture, Steven speaking.”

  “Hello, stranger.”

  “Well, hello.”

  I smiled at how provocative that sounded. “Do you have a minute?”

  “Just a minute?”

  I laughed, knowing he was playing with me. “Until later, yes.”

  “What happens later?”

  “To be determined.”

  “I will run with that. What’s up?”

  “When do we expect to break ground on the JVF project?”

  “Next week.”

  “So projection for us to get in there?”

  “Four to six weeks.”

  “Holy cow. I better get going.”

  “Before you run off, there’s a benefit dinner at the Biltmore next Friday. Would you like to go?”

  “Sure. What’s the dinner benefitting?”

  “Ovarian cancer fund-raiser. Our firm is one of the sponsors. Feel free to invite Rafael and Antonio too. The more the merrier.”

  “I'll do that. Thank you.”

  “Now, how does dinner sound?”

  “Sounds fabulous.”

  “Pick you up at eight?”

  “See you then.”

  We hung up and I started ordering furniture and cabinetry for the project. Before I knew it, the day was done. Dr. White was right. Getting back into my routine was the best medicine. I closed up my office and started to head out.

  “Rafael, Steven invited you and Antonio to a cancer benefit at the Biltmore next Friday night. Do you want to go?”

  “Oh yes. We go every year.”

  “You do?”

  “Antonio’s company donates hats and scarves for the ladies to cover their little bald heads.”

  “Oh. I had no idea. Well, I guess we’ll see you there.”

  “What are you doing tonight, sugar?”

  “Dinner with Steven.”

  “Good. Make sure you get some lovin’.”

  “I’ll do my best.” I shook my head as I left for the day.

  ~ ~ ~

  The evening ended at Steven’s place. I had a hard time feeling in the mood. I was still recovering from all that happened during the week. Steven picked up on my lack of excitement.

  “Do you want me to stop?”

  “No, why’re you asking me that?”

  He looked at me with a raised brow.

  “I guess I’m more tired than I thought. I’m sorry.”

  Steven wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. “It’s okay. Let’s just sleep.”

  I snuggled up to him feeling guilty. Why was this happening to me again? Things were fine and now I am disengaged again.

  When the first sunbeams came through the windows, I woke Steven with a little good morning surprise. He didn’t expect me under the sheets. I didn’t stop until I’d completely satisfied him. It was the least I could do after disappointing him last night. It’d get me off the hook until I was myself again.

  When I snuggled back up to him, Steven whispered, “That was great, but not very satisfying for you.”

  I smiled and kissed his cheek. “It was my pleasure.”

  We both started laughing and snuggled up, taking comfort in each other’s arms. We didn’t get up until noon and then I made my way back to my condo.

  I’d no plans this weekend and I was happy to have some alone time while I reviewed the events of the past week. I really needed to focus on finishing this project and getting back on track with Steven.

  I’d put Javier out of my mind, pretend he didn’t exist. I’m a different person now and I’d focus on my future like he isn’t even there.

  But, I’d need to see him throughout this project. What did I say if I saw Ricardo or Veronica? Would they be as angry and hostile as Javier?

  Chapter 24

  For the benefit dinner, I wore a black cocktail dress with rhinestones inlaid across the bodice and along the trim. I curled and pinned up my hair and applied my makeup a little heavier since it was pretty dark at the Biltmore Square. The doorbell rang and I answered it.

  Steven stood there and looked very handsome in his black suit. “Wow, you look amazing. Why don’t I open a bottle of wine and we’ll stay here?”

  “Careful or I’ll take you up on that, handsome.” I gave him a long kiss letting him know later there’d be more.

  “Shall we?” He gave me his arm and escorted me to his car.

  We arrived at the Biltmore and made our way inside. We went to the bar and Steven ordered us two glasses of Cabernet Sauvignon. We strolled around the open-air venue until we found Rafael and Antonio and joined them.

  Rafael and Antonio made a dashing couple. Antonio looked amazingly handsome in his black suit. His wavy salt and pepper hair was slicked back making him look suave. Rafael was a perfect compliment with his pompadour hair and five o’clock shadow. Rafael shed his suit jacket before he was even into the venue.

  I looked around the area as I enjoyed the party. Live jazz music played and local restaurants had set up food booths.

  Antonio told us about the hats and scarves being donated this year. He pointed to one of the scarves a young woman wore. “That one is silk from India. The colors are magnificent. We added the trim to give it more sophistication.”

  I looked
where he pointed and admired the scarf. I noticed a man walking up to her, our gazes meeting as he glanced my way. It was Javier.

  We stared at each other for a moment. I glanced back to the woman. She gazed in our direction, obviously to see what Javier was looking at. I met her eyes and slowly realized it was Veronica. She was the woman in need of the silk scarf. I swayed in my heels.

  “Oh my God.” I whispered out loud. I didn’t explain as I walked away from Rafael, Antonio, and Steven. I made a line for her. When I got there, I grabbed her and hugged her hard. “Oh my God, Veronica, no, not you, no.”

  She hugged me back and I wouldn’t let her go.

  “It’s okay, really. I’m going to be okay.” she said.

  Javier did nothing as he watched me hug my long-lost best friend and his beloved cousin.

  I looked at him, still holding her. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “It didn’t come up.”

  I let go of Veronica, still looking at Javier. I broke our stare and focused back on her. Before I said anything, Ricardo walked up with water for Veronica, wine for himself and Javier.

  “Thank you, Ricardo,” Veronica said. “Do you remember Kayla?”

  “Of course I do. Hello, Kayla. It’s been a long time.” He took my hand and kissed my cheek.

  I couldn’t help but notice Ricardo sported a chin strip beard that traced his jawline to his sideburns. He’d really filled out and was no longer a skinny teenager, but a broad-shouldered, fit man. Like Javier, his suit was custom designed.

  Although Veronica had lost her long dark curls, her skin seemed to glow. She looked happy and true to the girl that I always knew. She was dressed classy but comfortable in her wrap dress and flats.

  “It’s been a long time. How are you?” I asked.

  “Doing well. Javier told me that you're building the new showroom for us.”

  Us? “I’m the designer on the project.”

  “I saw the specs. It looks amazing. I'm excited to see it come to life. You should visit the factories some time so you can see what goes into the cars we sell.”